


Descent into Madness

by CloudSpires1295



Series: Shay 'verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Dead Sam Winchester, Episode: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Episode: s02e22 All Hell Breaks Loose, Gen, Temporary Character Death - Winchesters, idk what to tag, just feels and shit dammit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 02:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8126884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudSpires1295/pseuds/CloudSpires1295
Summary: Sisfic coda to 2x21 "All Hell Breaks Loose pt. 1" and 2x22 "All Hell Breaks Loose pt. 2". For all the crap their father drilled into their heads about the importance of keeping an eye out for Sammy, he never told them what to do if they failed.





	1. Chapter 1

Shay felt her lips parting, her mouth opening wide to call her brother’s name as a man swooped in from behind, a flash of tarnished metal in his hand. Her cry stuttered and died in her throat as Sam’s back arched with the blade penetrating his lower back, arms twitching outwards from his torso like a bird about to take flight… or a bird being shot from the sky by a hunter. Time slowed to a dead crawl as the knife was yanked viciously from Sam’s back, allowing him to fall to his knees. Bobby and Dean blew past her as she stumbled to a halt.

‘ _I… what… S-Sammy?_ ’

Dean slid on his knees to reach Sam, arms going around his little brother’s body to keep him supported. His fingers brushed through wet warmth at his lower back, the ragged wound pulsing out more and more blood with the passing seconds. Agonized green eyes stared into weakly fluttering hazel ones as Sam struggled to breathe, weak groans and whimpers bubbling up his throat, snagging in the blood that was slowly filling up his mouth.

Shay still couldn’t bring herself to move, still stuck in place as her very worst nightmare played out right in front of her. Somehow finding her feet, the huntress stumbled forwards on feet that felt like blocks of concrete, still barely processing her surroundings.

Blue-green irises rolled wildly in their sockets to look up at Shailene’s pale face, so pale every single freckle stood out in sharp contrast. She dropped to her knees next to Dean and reached out to cup her little brother’s face, brushing soft chestnut bangs away from his forehead with her index and middle fingers.

‘ _Baby boy… I am so sorry…_ ’

“We got you, sweetie,” Shay murmured as Sam’s eyes began to slide shut, “we’re here, we got you, you’re okay.” She didn’t know why she was saying those words, Sammy was anything but okay, but her instinct to soothe and comfort her dying baby brother was far too strong in that moment for her to really care.

Tears began to cloud up Shay’s vision as Sam’s face went slack and began to pale even further. Dean’s hand was on his cheek, and she could hear her twin brother brokenly calling Sam’s name, but it was as if she were hearing it from underwater.

After what felt like an eternity, Dean began moving, shifting Sam’s body in his arms so he could lift him up. Shay watched numbly, not sure she remembered how to tell her body to move, to get up and follow her brother. Her entire universe had shifted on its axis, no, it had toppled and everything was falling to pieces and imploding as she knelt on the ground, slowly coming to grips with everything.

Her Sammy, _their_ Sammy… her sweet dimple-cheeked baby brother was _gone_.

Sam’s slackened, bloodless face peeked into her view as his head lolled over Dean’s right arm. A low whimper leaked from her lips as the sight sent a fresh spark of pain coursing through the remnants of her shattered heart.

“We gotta,” Dean’s voice began to pierce the fog around her, coming through clearer and clearer the more he spoke, “we gotta find… find ‘im a bed. We gotta put ‘im somewhere, Shay.” There was a quiver in his voice that promised more tears but, other than that, it was lifeless and devoid of emotion.

A bed. Yes, she could do that. She could help her brother find a bed to place Sam. Shay slowly got her feet up under her and stood shakily, swaying slightly. She blinked and shook her head to clear it, “bed, yeah… there’s probably one around here somewhere.”

Dean nodded once and let his twin take point, following slowly with Sam’s cooling body in his arms. He could tell, even through the layers of clothing that his little brother’s body was beginning to cool and stiffen. The weight of him in his arms was denser than ever. The elder Winchester’s eyes fluttered shut as he forced himself to keep walking. There’d be time to dwell on this later, right now his baby brother needed a bed.


	2. Flawed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe they could glue all the missing pieces back into the jagged puzzle that was their incredibly skewed family dynamic, but the cracks would always remain.

Shay turned away sharply and began striding purposefully towards her ‘Stang. Everything in her demanded that she run to the car and drive until the last week was erased from her mind, but she couldn’t leave Sam alone to face this mess. She just needed some breathing space to get her head on straight, that’s all.

“Shay!”

The moment the huntress felt her brother’s calloused hand on her forearm, tugging her back around to face him, she allowed her instincts to surge forth. Her right hand balled up into a fist and flew straight into Dean’s face, colliding painfully with his left temple. The pain in her knuckles was nothing compared to the upsurge of agony she’d suffered when Dean revealed what he’d done to get Sammy back.

“No,” the huntress spoke lowly, jabbing an angry finger into his chest, “no, no, no, _no, NO!_ ” She pierced Dean with baleful green eyes, “you don’t get to drop a fucking bomb like that and expect me to just… what, grin and bear it? _No_! I just got my baby brother back from the dead at the cost of my twin brother’s soul,” hot tears began to course down her cheeks, “you’re going to _Hell_ in a fucking year. What am I supposed to do with that?”

“I need to be alone right now,” she wiped furiously at her wet cheeks, “because I just… I can’t… I can’t look at you right now… and on Sam’s birthday,” she sobbed softly, “I can’t, De, I fucking can’t.”

“What, you’d rather I’d just let him rot?” Dean shot back viciously, green eyes shining with unshed tears, “you know damn well I couldn’t, you would’ve done the same damn thing if I hadn’t beat you to the punch!”

“Are you honestly asking me which brother I’d rather be alive right now? _Really?_ ” Shay responded, misery evident in her voice, “you know damn well I want both you alive, but _not_ like this! God, what’s _wrong_ with you?” she shook her head sadly, “I just… I can’t understand how little you value yourself, De, it’s… it’s fucking sad. Dean, we need you _here_ , not burning in Hell.”

“You know I couldn’t let him go, Shay,” Dean responded quietly, beseeching her understanding, “you know that.”

“I know,” she responded, tears flowing once more, “I know…” she looked over her twin’s shoulder to where their little brother remained next to the Impala, facial expression still contorted into one of utter disbelief and guilt.

“This is gonna eat him up inside, y’know,” she uttered, turning her eyes back to Dean, “I know, you thought you were doing the right thing, but… we both know that figuring out Dad sold his soul for you screwed you up inside, and now... what do you think it’s going to do to Sam?”

“Sammy’s tough,” Dean replied, “way stronger than me. He’ll be alright.”

‘ _You’re lying through your teeth and you know it,_ ’ Shay thought sadly, ‘ _it’s going to tear him apart and ruin him the same way it did you._ ’

The blonde huntress let her eyes flutter closed, “I wanna get in my car and drive until I can’t remember any of this, but there’s not nearly enough two-lane asphalt in the lower 48 for me to pull that off,” she bit down on the inside of her bottom lip, “and I’m not about to let Sam face this shit alone. I’m not gonna leave him alone like you will in a year.” That was a low blow, but she couldn’t find it in herself to give a damn anymore.

Everything was fucked up and, being brutally honest with herself, Shay highly doubted it could ever be made right again. Maybe they could glue all the missing pieces back into the jagged puzzle that was their incredibly skewed family dynamic, but the cracks would always remain.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr!  
> cloudspires.tumblr.com


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